We’ve all been there. I know I have. Sitting in a team meeting with that one person who never seems to listen. Who likes to play favorites, or freezes people out who challenge their ideas?
How can a person not realize how these behaviors negatively impact others?
The answer is simple—they are disconnected from their emotions. In short, they lack Emotional Self-Awareness.
Why leaders must have Emotional Self-Awareness
“Humility is not about having a low self-image or poor self-esteem. Humility is about self-awareness.”
– Erwin McManus
Emotional Self-Awareness is the ability to understand your own emotions and how they influence your performance at work. It’s one of the foundations of Emotional Intelligence for a good reason.
Leaders who are lacking in this area can drive disastrous results for their teams and their own careers. If you are disconnected from how your emotions affect others, your leadership trajectory is on very thin ice.
For example, one Korn Ferry study showed that over 90% of leaders who were strong in Emotional Self-Awareness had highly energized and well performing teams. On the other hand, leaders with low Emotional Self-Awareness created negative work environments nearly 80% of the time.
Our emotions impact our:
- Thoughts
- Actions
- Performance at work
Our emotions show up in our:
- Tone of voice
- Facial expressions
- Body language
So even if you say nothing, your emotions are still coursing through your face and body for everyone to see.
Think of the last time you responded positively to someone who sat across from you wooden-faced with arms firmly crossed. It’s probably been a long time, if ever.
As executives, we often get so caught up in meeting the demands of financials, projections, and project wins that we can forget none of that matters if we are simply acting like a boss, instead of a leader.
How to grow your Emotional Self-Awareness and Awareness of Others
I recommend focusing on these key areas to become a stronger leader beginning right now.
Increasing your Emotional Self-Awareness
Awareness of our emotions means always being present in how we interact, collaborate, and communicate in the workplace.
- Tune into how you’re feeling—Before responding to or interacting with someone, always take a “scan” of the emotions you are feeling. How might you be projecting them into the room right now? Is it the message you want to be sending?
- Be conscious of your feelings when making decisions—Understand your emotions may be impacting your perception of situations at work.
- Stay connected—To your core values and beliefs, and regularly practice self-reflection to help strengthen your self-awareness.
- Be aware—Of factors that upset you at work, as well as those that make you feel good. Learn to refrain from making decisions based solely on what mood you’re in.
Increasing your Awareness of Others
Show your team that you’re empathetic and want to take into consideration their thoughts and feelings.
- Be present and listen—Always be fully present when someone else is speaking. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next. Just listen, and show appreciation for them sharing their thoughts with you.
- Learn to read body language—Many people won’t come out and say what is really on their mind. That is why it is crucial that you as a leader learn to read the unspoken words of body language. Make this a habit whenever you interact with your team.
- Understand what makes people feel engaged—Learn from past experiences to tailor your approach in dealing with situations. What worked, and what didn’t?
- Acknowledge others’ feelings—Be empathetic when communicating with others by telling them that you hear what they are saying.
Take a moment now to reflect on your own level of Emotional Self-Awareness and Awareness of Others. How could you improve? And what tangible results might you see from doing that?
Connect with me to learn how I can help you become a more empathetic and present leader through my impactful Executive Coaching.
